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Roasted Penis & Bear Cubs

Roasted Penis & Bear Cubs  
JTEM
From:JTEM
Subject:Roasted Penis & Bear Cubs
Date:Mon, 24 Jan 2005 04:16:57 -0500

Two issues:

The first is that the laptop turned out to be
nothing more than an expensive overhead
broiler for my penis.

Yes, I know, perhaps it is my fault for
neglecting to grow a penis long enough to
drape safely between my legs, securely
wedging it between my butt cheeks, there
by forever negating the opportunity of
exposure to the heat.

My bad.

But it's too late to go back & grow
another one, which leaves me with
a brick oven baked penis instead of
one that merely smells remarkably
similar to my ass.

Ouch.

The second issue is bear cubs.

Ever hear of the website www.dar.co.uk?
Well they have this "factor" feature --
more or less just another lame "Rate My..."
site -- and a friend of mine received a number
of "factor" nominations, which prompted
him to enter himself in the bear cubs category.

Anyhow, I wanted to find his profile and
rate him a ten (such loyalty!) when I
discovered that the bear cub concept either
has changed dramatically, or the democracy
hating vermin of old Europe never quite
got it in the first place.

Going by the profiles (and I never did
come across my friend's), apparently a
bear cub is now defined as any male,
of any age, with or without body or
facial hair.

Now I thought a skinny (or, perhaps,
relatively thin) guy with a lot of body
hair and a clean shaven face was an
"Otter."

I was under the impression that a
young, relatively thin man without much
body hair -- and a clean shaven face --
was neither a bear cub nor an otter.

I also believed that middle-aged and
beyond men, fully qualifying as a bear,
were in fact bears & not bear cubs.

Either I am grossly mistaken in my
memory, or we should all pray to
Bush's admiring friend Jesus, asking
him to suggest to Bush a little "regime
change" for the European blue beanies.

Thank you.
   

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