 | I'm looking for some advice on moving past an old relationship. My
FIRST relationship - or rather my first love. I feel really stupid
because it's been almost 5 years since the break up and I don't know
why it's still causing me problems. We were together for about 6 years
and the breakup was - well - traumatic for me. I have not seen or
heard from her since. Basically she left me - and married one of her
old BF's a few months later.
I've seemed to go through phases - mostly when I'm single I get really
lonely and really start to miss her - that's usually when I have
thought about her the most... then I eventually meet someone and
forget about the past until things begin to get serious... at which
point I start thinking about her again (usually because I start having
dreams.) It's really frustrating because I feel like I'm just starting
to get on with my love-life and then I start this dreaming.
I've dated steadily over the last 3 years and it's always the same when
I get into a relationship. I'm in a relationship now - the longest
since my 6 year relationship - we've been together almost 6 months now
and all of a sudden the dreams are starting again. I'm really bummed
out right now because I feel like I must not "really" love the girl I'm
with because of this. I mean I do... I do care about her... but I
feel it's more like I "love" her, but i'm not "in love" with her. I do
enjoy being with her, but I'm just not EXCITED about the relationship
like I was with my first. If I compair it to how I felt about my first
love it's nowhere near the same feelings. I know I shouldn't compair
but that's what I find myself doing. I feel like a bastard right now
because the girl I'm seeing right now is crazy about me but I'm all
confused and 2nd guessing myself. I guess I'm just wondering if this
means I'm with the wrong person right now. Or if it's just always
going to be this way and I should just accept that I'll never have
those strong feelings again. Like it's maybe just a one time deal.
Can someone throw some wisdom my way?
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