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Current group: alt.adoption.
For Adopted Children, Risks, and Hope
| LilMtnCbn | | chickeyd | | rkbose at pacific.net.sg | | rkbose at pacific.net.sg |
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| | From: | LilMtnCbn | | Subject: | For Adopted Children, Risks, and Hope | | Date: | 23 Jan 2005 13:43:49 GMT |
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 | http://www.ctnow.com/news/local/northeast/hc-britnerqa.artjan23,1,632764.s
tory?coll=hc-headlines-northeast&ctrack=3&cset=true
For Adopted Children, Risks, and Hope
January 23, 2005
By Sujata Srinivasan, The Hartford Courant
U.S. adoptions from China have shot up 167 percent over the last five years,
from 4,101 adoptions in 1999 to 6,859 in 2003, according to the U.S. Department
of State. In the light of a growing trend in international adoptions, Sujata
Srinivasan discussed the implications of cross-cultural adoptions and bonding
issues with Dr. Preston A. Britner of the School of Family Studies at the
University of Connecticut.
Britner and a team of experts conducted a study in child-parent attachment
among 111 children, age 4, adopted in the United Kingdom, following early
severe deprivation in Romania. Simultaneously, they studied a comparison group
of 52 non-deprived children adoptees within the United Kingdom.
Findings indicated that children with severe early deprivation were less likely
to form secure attachments, raising implications for attachment research on
very deprived children.
Northeast: Growing up is tough for any child, but is it tougher for an adopted
child?
Britner: I think so. There are a lot of adopted children, who, through their
whole life course have questions as to how they fit into their birth and
adoptive families. There are concerns about rejection; why were they given up
for adoption? Yes, it is harder, especially when kids are adopted at older
ages. But what is the alternative? You leave them in an orphanage or you cycle
them through foster care. I think these children are better off in loving,
accepting, adoptive homes than some of these alternatives.
NE: Will these insecurities drop off in time?
Britner: What we found in the study (of Romanian children) is that the absence
of an attachment relationship in the first year or so did become a risk factor
for later close relationships.
NE: Is there any hope?
Britner: There are two ways to read our study. One, is that there is a risk
factor, and therefore people must do a better job of getting those kids into a
long-term nurturing relationship as early as possible and prevent problems. The
other spin is that even in this extreme sample, some of the kids who were
adopted late and who had been essentially warehoused were doing just fine. So
there is a message of hope.
NE: What is the difference between infants from foster care versus infants from
orphanages?
Britner: Here's a little developmental tidbit. It is right around 9 to 10
months that kids fully have object permanence. This is why around 10 months,
you start to see separation anxiety -- they know who mom and dad are and
recognize other people as not being those primary caregivers, and they get
scared. Kids seem to be very resilient to changes before then, which would have
implications in trying to get adoptions to take place before the 9-month point.
So no, I actually expect nothing different between infants from a history of
foster care versus institutionalization, given the research I've seen.
NE: How difficult is it for a child to let go of a foster mother and form a new
relationship with the adoptive parents?
Britner: I think there's nothing surprising about a long period of resistance.
When a child is removed from a caregiver on whom she/he relied, it's going to
be traumatic. Any time there's discontinuity or transition and the child
doesn't have much control over it, there's the potential that they're going to
feel rejected. A child who has been with a foster mom, from, say, 2 or 3 months
up until 6 or 7 months would have an adjustment period.
NE: Do kids pick up behavior signals from adoptive parents and their new
environment?
Britner: Yes. Some kids rebound very nicely and start to bundle these
behavioral systems and feel included and comfortable in their families. For
some, there appears to be lingering effects. Again, I would have greater
concern for the toddlers and older adoptions than the infants.
I'm also concerned for the parents, because it's going to be harder (with an
older child), and they need to be prepared for it. The parents are going to
feel dejected when a child doesn't bond; but they're going to have to keep up
with the warmth, keep up with the consistent messages, and the kid will most
likely come around.
I'm working with a mentoring program in Connecticut and what we do is make sure
the mentors understand why the kid is likely to be resistant, why a toddler
isn't going to say, 'Oh, OK. You're mom now? Great!' There is a lingering
effect of feeling rejected that some works suggest that over time and with
consistency, most people overcome.
I'm not convinced that it totally goes away. So there is a message both of risk
and resilience.
NE: What is your recipe for a happy adoptive family?
Britner: To be prepared, to have knowledge that this is both rewarding and
challenging, to have supports in place -- both informal and formal, and to
appreciate the identity and birth culture of a child; that's the recipe.
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
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| | From: | chickeyd | | Subject: | Re: For Adopted Children, Risks, and Hope | | Date: | 23 Jan 2005 22:05:27 -0800 |
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| > This is the kind of thing that makes me feel that where possible, a
> baby who is relinquished should go straight to a-parents rather than
> through a foster family or an institution.
>
> I recognize that it's just one study -- and some of the kids did just
> fine. But my bias would be to reduce risk to the child where ever
> possible.
>
> Which is one reason why I don't find a situation where a child is
> adopted within 10 days of birth unethical - so long as the b-mom does
> not change her mind. Even that, I would consider it weighing her
right
> to raise the child in favor of the child's situation. (I do think she
> has that right, absent abuse.)
>
> Rupa
Attachment issues are a bitch, for the child and the aparents. My
daughter is (finally) fully mourning the loss of the foster parents she
had before we were her foster parents - she was there from 20 mos to
3.5 yrs, and remembers them as her first mom and dad. Today, she asked
to see their pictures, and had a "conversation" with her foster mom.
"You gave me away," she said, and cried. She has resisted even trying
to bond to me and my husband, in the hopes that her foster parents
would come to their senses and want her back. Now, 6 years later,
she's finally realizing that we didn't snatch her, they gave her up (I
don't think she's ready to understand the foster parent concept, since
she's got her mind wrapped around them being her 'real' parents).
Breaks my heart, and frustrates at the same time.
I wish foreign adoptions required parents to go through at least some
of the training that foster parents go through, so at least they would
have an idea of what they could be getting into.
Chickeyd
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| | From: | rkbose at pacific.net.sg | | Subject: | Re: For Adopted Children, Risks, and Hope | | Date: | 24 Jan 2005 01:01:35 -0800 |
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chickeyd wrote:
> > This is the kind of thing that makes me feel that where possible, a
> > baby who is relinquished should go straight to a-parents rather
than
> > through a foster family or an institution.
> >
> > I recognize that it's just one study -- and some of the kids did
just
> > fine. But my bias would be to reduce risk to the child where ever
> > possible.
> >
> > Which is one reason why I don't find a situation where a child is
> > adopted within 10 days of birth unethical - so long as the b-mom
does
> > not change her mind. Even that, I would consider it weighing her
> right
> > to raise the child in favor of the child's situation. (I do think
she
> > has that right, absent abuse.)
> >
> > Rupa
>
> Attachment issues are a bitch, for the child and the aparents. My
> daughter is (finally) fully mourning the loss of the foster parents
she
> had before we were her foster parents - she was there from 20 mos to
> 3.5 yrs, and remembers them as her first mom and dad. Today, she
asked
> to see their pictures, and had a "conversation" with her foster mom.
> "You gave me away," she said, and cried. She has resisted even
trying
> to bond to me and my husband, in the hopes that her foster parents
> would come to their senses and want her back. Now, 6 years later,
> she's finally realizing that we didn't snatch her, they gave her up
(I
> don't think she's ready to understand the foster parent concept,
since
> she's got her mind wrapped around them being her 'real' parents).
> Breaks my heart, and frustrates at the same time.
>
> I wish foreign adoptions required parents to go through at least some
> of the training that foster parents go through, so at least they
would
> have an idea of what they could be getting into.
>
> Chickeyd
I wish they did.
Your poor little girl...and most people would think that 3.5 years
isn't that old and she'd soon forget. Good for you for sticking it out.
Rupa
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| | From: | rkbose at pacific.net.sg | | Subject: | Re: For Adopted Children, Risks, and Hope | | Date: | 23 Jan 2005 13:30:06 -0800 |
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LilMtnCbn wrote:
>
http://www.ctnow.com/news/local/northeast/hc-britnerqa.artjan23,1,632764.s
> tory?coll=hc-headlines-northeast&ctrack=3&cset=true
>
> For Adopted Children, Risks, and Hope
> January 23, 2005
> By Sujata Srinivasan, The Hartford Courant
>
Dr. Preston A. Britner of the School of Family Studies at the
> University of Connecticut.
>
> Britner and a team of experts conducted a study in child-parent
attachment
> among 111 children, age 4, adopted in the United Kingdom, following
early
> severe deprivation in Romania. Simultaneously, they studied a
comparison group
> of 52 non-deprived children adoptees within the United Kingdom.
>
> Findings indicated that children with severe early deprivation were
less likely
> to form secure attachments, raising implications for attachment
research on
> very deprived children.
>
> NE: Will these insecurities drop off in time?
>
> Britner: What we found in the study (of Romanian children) is that
the absence
> of an attachment relationship in the first year or so did become a
risk factor
> for later close relationships.
>
> NE: Is there any hope?
>
> Britner: There are two ways to read our study. One, is that there is
a risk
> factor, and therefore people must do a better job of getting those
kids into a
> long-term nurturing relationship as early as possible and prevent
problems. The
> other spin is that even in this extreme sample, some of the kids who
were
> adopted late and who had been essentially warehoused were doing just
fine. So
> there is a message of hope.
>
> NE: What is the difference between infants from foster care versus
infants from
> orphanages?
>
> Britner: Here's a little developmental tidbit. It is right around 9
to 10
> months that kids fully have object permanence. This is why around 10
months,
> you start to see separation anxiety -- they know who mom and dad are
and
> recognize other people as not being those primary caregivers, and
they get
> scared. Kids seem to be very resilient to changes before then, which
would have
> implications in trying to get adoptions to take place before the
9-month point.
> So no, I actually expect nothing different between infants from a
history of
> foster care versus institutionalization, given the research I've
seen.
>
> NE: How difficult is it for a child to let go of a foster mother and
form a new
> relationship with the adoptive parents?
>
> Britner: I think there's nothing surprising about a long period of
resistance.
> When a child is removed from a caregiver on whom she/he relied, it's
going to
> be traumatic. Any time there's discontinuity or transition and the
child
> doesn't have much control over it, there's the potential that they're
going to
> feel rejected. A child who has been with a foster mom, from, say, 2
or 3 months
> up until 6 or 7 months would have an adjustment period.
>
> NE: Do kids pick up behavior signals from adoptive parents and their
new
> environment?
>
> Britner: Yes. Some kids rebound very nicely and start to bundle these
> behavioral systems and feel included and comfortable in their
families. For
> some, there appears to be lingering effects. Again, I would have
greater
> concern for the toddlers and older adoptions than the infants.
This is the kind of thing that makes me feel that where possible, a
baby who is relinquished should go straight to a-parents rather than
through a foster family or an institution.
I recognize that it's just one study -- and some of the kids did just
fine. But my bias would be to reduce risk to the child where ever
possible.
Which is one reason why I don't find a situation where a child is
adopted within 10 days of birth unethical - so long as the b-mom does
not change her mind. Even that, I would consider it weighing her right
to raise the child in favor of the child's situation. (I do think she
has that right, absent abuse.)
Rupa
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