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 | | From: | Dian | | Subject: | IL - Baby Safe Haven - State law worked in baby's favor Couple hope to adopt girl brought to hospital | | Date: | 22 Jan 2005 23:35:50 -0800 |
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 | sylak wrote:
> I wonder what the a-parents will tell this child as she grows older. Will
> they attempt to pretend she was "natural"? What happens when she figures
> out she was adopted? "Well, ummm, your mother just dumped you off and left.
> No, she didn't leave any information or anything. Nope, no one knows who she
> was or anything. I sure hope there is nothing in your family medical history
> that is too awful and, gee, why would you want to know anything about your
> bio-roots. Don't you love us?"
>
They'll probably tell her what a-parents in closed situations
generally
have to say. We don't know why your b-mother couldn't keep you. She
loved you enough to make sure you were safe, and she knew you would
have a family that could look after you. I'm sorry we know nothing
about your medical history or your roots, but perhaps in a few years,
the doctors can look at your DNA and give you a pretty good idea.
That's about it. What else can we say?
Rupa
They could say "We don't know why your n-mother couldn't keep you
other than what we've been told. You will have to ask the adoption
agency from which we applied for you. They will have all of your
records including the identity of your mother and your own original
identity, they also know the reasons for your adoption on file."
Or else they could say "Just a minute son, we have your mother's
identity locked away in a hidden drawer just waiting for the day you
wanted to know. The agency/court gave it to us when we adopted you.
Because this information is rightfully yours we will give it to you so
you can search and be able to obtain your answers from your nmother
directly."
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| | From: | rkbose at pacific.net.sg | | Subject: | Re: IL - Baby Safe Haven - State law worked in baby's favor Couple hope to adopt girl brought to hospital | | Date: | 23 Jan 2005 00:28:18 -0800 |
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Dian wrote:
> sylak wrote:
> > I wonder what the a-parents will tell this child as she grows
older. Will
> > they attempt to pretend she was "natural"? What happens when she
figures
> > out she was adopted? "Well, ummm, your mother just dumped you off
and left.
> > No, she didn't leave any information or anything. Nope, no one
knows who she
> > was or anything. I sure hope there is nothing in your family
medical history
> > that is too awful and, gee, why would you want to know anything
about your
> > bio-roots. Don't you love us?"
> >
>
> They'll probably tell her what a-parents in closed situations
> generally
> have to say. We don't know why your b-mother couldn't keep you. She
> loved you enough to make sure you were safe, and she knew you would
> have a family that could look after you. I'm sorry we know nothing
> about your medical history or your roots, but perhaps in a few years,
> the doctors can look at your DNA and give you a pretty good idea.
> That's about it. What else can we say?
>
> Rupa
>
>
> They could say "We don't know why your n-mother couldn't keep you
> other than what we've been told. You will have to ask the adoption
> agency from which we applied for you. They will have all of your
> records including the identity of your mother and your own original
> identity, they also know the reasons for your adoption on file."
>
And hopefully, that will be true.
And you can say that you'll help to get the records released to the
extent that you can.
> Or else they could say "Just a minute son, we have your mother's
> identity locked away in a hidden drawer just waiting for the day you
> wanted to know. The agency/court gave it to us when we adopted you.
> Because this information is rightfully yours we will give it to you
so
> you can search and be able to obtain your answers from your nmother
> directly."
If I knew my kid's b-parents' names, I would passed it on before it was
asked for, and then also communicated that I had the info and would
give it whenever it was wanted.
Rupa
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| | From: | rkbose at pacific.net.sg | | Subject: | Re: IL - Baby Safe Haven - State law worked in baby's favor Couple hope to adopt girl brought to hospital | | Date: | 23 Jan 2005 00:28:23 -0800 |
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Dian wrote:
> sylak wrote:
> > I wonder what the a-parents will tell this child as she grows
older. Will
> > they attempt to pretend she was "natural"? What happens when she
figures
> > out she was adopted? "Well, ummm, your mother just dumped you off
and left.
> > No, she didn't leave any information or anything. Nope, no one
knows who she
> > was or anything. I sure hope there is nothing in your family
medical history
> > that is too awful and, gee, why would you want to know anything
about your
> > bio-roots. Don't you love us?"
> >
>
> They'll probably tell her what a-parents in closed situations
> generally
> have to say. We don't know why your b-mother couldn't keep you. She
> loved you enough to make sure you were safe, and she knew you would
> have a family that could look after you. I'm sorry we know nothing
> about your medical history or your roots, but perhaps in a few years,
> the doctors can look at your DNA and give you a pretty good idea.
> That's about it. What else can we say?
>
> Rupa
>
>
> They could say "We don't know why your n-mother couldn't keep you
> other than what we've been told. You will have to ask the adoption
> agency from which we applied for you. They will have all of your
> records including the identity of your mother and your own original
> identity, they also know the reasons for your adoption on file."
>
And hopefully, that will be true.
And you can say that you'll help to get the records released to the
extent that you can.
> Or else they could say "Just a minute son, we have your mother's
> identity locked away in a hidden drawer just waiting for the day you
> wanted to know. The agency/court gave it to us when we adopted you.
> Because this information is rightfully yours we will give it to you
so
> you can search and be able to obtain your answers from your nmother
> directly."
If I knew my kid's b-parents' names, I would passed it on before it was
asked for, and then also communicated that I had the info and would
give it whenever it was wanted.
Rupa
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| | From: | sylak | | Subject: | Re: IL - Baby Safe Haven - State law worked in baby's favor Couple hope to adopt girl brought to hospital | | Date: | Sun, 23 Jan 2005 08:17:47 -0500 |
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| Dian:
Your response is a good one but my question had to do with a-parents
responding to a request from thier child who had been dumped at a BSH.
Children relinquished through "traditional" adoption services or child care
agencies have records of who they are. These records may be locked up at the
time of thier adoption but at least they exist. A child dumped at a BSH has
very little chance of ever knowing who they are once they reach the age at
which it becomes important. The child you adopted will always be your child,
make no mistake, but there is also a void within that person that deserves
to be filled.
Raymond
> They'll probably tell her what a-parents in closed situations
> generally
> have to say. We don't know why your b-mother couldn't keep you. She
> loved you enough to make sure you were safe, and she knew you would
> have a family that could look after you. I'm sorry we know nothing
> about your medical history or your roots, but perhaps in a few years,
> the doctors can look at your DNA and give you a pretty good idea.
> That's about it. What else can we say?
>
> Rupa
>
>
> They could say "We don't know why your n-mother couldn't keep you
> other than what we've been told. You will have to ask the adoption
> agency from which we applied for you. They will have all of your
> records including the identity of your mother and your own original
> identity, they also know the reasons for your adoption on file."
>
> Or else they could say "Just a minute son, we have your mother's
> identity locked away in a hidden drawer just waiting for the day you
> wanted to know. The agency/court gave it to us when we adopted you.
> Because this information is rightfully yours we will give it to you so
> you can search and be able to obtain your answers from your nmother
> directly."
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